Sunday, September 26, 2010
Culture Shock: Our relationships with our parents.
I am born in America. But I as many of my classmates, are first generation Americans. Although I am born here in Brooklyn, I consider myself Polish because of my heritage. And one of the biggest differenced I see between me and my American friends are their relationships with their parents. I can safely say that my relationship along with those of immigrant families, between their children and their parents is much less, whats the word, hmm "friendly". American families these days talk and interact with their parents as if they were their friends. Now this is a good thing and a bad thing at the same time. Its a good thing because if you think of your parents as a friend then you have a closer bond with them. It is much easier for you to talk to your parents about your day, but especially about your problems at hand. But because you think of your parents as a friend you loose some of that parently authority over you, where they are more firm towards you not because their mean, but because they want whats best for you. You loose some respect for your parents as a result and do not listen to them as much, as many American (or Americanized) children do. To me I am close with my mother but not as close with my father. I love my father to death but our realtionship is more of one where he supports the family and I take care of what I am told to. i.e school, chores, helping out, etc. We never talk much but we have a mutual understanding for one another. So is it better that I have a relationship like this one rather then an "Americanized" one? Idont know, but as the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side.
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Hi, I am polish to. I was actually born and raised in Poland. I came to the USA around 5 years ago. I agree with you that most of the time American kids have different relationships with their parents than Polish children do. It is hard to say which one is better. Palpably it also depends from the personality of the person.
ReplyDeleteI agree also...my 'Polish' family dynamic was the same. There was respect, but not a close friendship. I only came to understand this later in life. I always thought I was missing something in my family as compared to my friends.
ReplyDelete--prof K
i can most certainly agree with what your saying. My parents are from Haiti and my relationship with them is the same way. There is a mutual understanding of what everyone's role is and there is some "friendliness" but not as much as American families.In my family my parents would no longer feel like they have authority if they become too friendly. As you were saying it is not because they are mean but since my siblings and i are also first generation Americans there has to be an understanding that my parents were raised differently in their country and are only doing what they experienced and what helped them get to where they are in order to help their children succeed in a country that makes this possible. So with that being said we are only getting whats good for us!
ReplyDeleteI have the same relationship with my parents. My mom and I can talk to each other (not about everything though) and I barely speak to my dad. I feel weird when I talk to my parents about certain topics that I reserve for only when I speak with my friends. I can't imagine speaking to my parents like they are my friends (like what some American tv shows portray). I think that it may be that in Asian cultures, there is a belief that younger generations must respect older generations and treat them like one would treat an authoritative figure.
ReplyDeleteI think it's better to be friends with your parents because that way, you have more trust and understanding, and so respect for them would come automatically. My parents are sometimes my friends and sometimes just my parents, so it's a pretty even balance for me. It's true though, parents just want the best for their kids, one way or another.
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